six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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