Non-Jews are for practice
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
