The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
