I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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