don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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