dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
try to milk me bitch
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