his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
