She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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