I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
