His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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