So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
