Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
