Its about making memories worth repressing
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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