You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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