Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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