Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
