What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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