I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Randomize
