i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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