sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
