We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize