I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
