I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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