that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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