C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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