Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
