One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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