Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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