My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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