No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
