Umm I'm too high to move.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
