I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
