just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
