its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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