The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
