There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Two words: nipple clamps
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