Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize