Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize