I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
