The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
