She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He better not be in your backpack
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
