Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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