after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
