so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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