she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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