I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We were destined to go to rehab together
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
