Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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