Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize