Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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