Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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