My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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