Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
