make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
