Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
