bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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