Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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