ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
