I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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