forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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