I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
