WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize